Entering the world of dating
Morrison-Gurza concludes his piece with an insight for both people with disabilities interested in dating, as well as for their potential partners.
Dating too soon after the divorce: I learned this lesson early. I was a dating disaster since I wasn't truly ready.
I only dated because my ex had a girlfriend, and it was my way to personally retaliate. Starting to date again can be an overwhelming experience. I needed to work through my personal issues before I could be successful in dating.
When you have talked about exclusivity and are both sure you share the same vision for the future of your relationship, then you can introduce the kids.
You just nibbled through an entire bar of dark chocolate. You are "out there" again, and the dating world has changed a lot since the eighties. Put down the chocolate; it really isn't so bad out there.
On the other hand, Lucy Edwards’ video, Blind Life Hacks: First Dates, below, offers practical advice for navigating a dinner date when you have a disability and it is time to actually go on your first date.
However, this uncertainty around dating and relationships can often be heightened for people with disabilities. If it is an invisible or not obviously-apparent disability, when should it be disclosed?
Yet, there are many different combinations of disabilities possible when it comes to dating, and the thoughts and fears explained above are just as valid for a person with a mental illness entering the dating world, or a person with a physical disability entering into a relationship with a partner who has an invisible disability, or two people with disabilities dating.What to do instead: Time is the best measure of knowing when to introduce the children.Traditionally men view the introduction of children to be a big step.In addition, according to the author many people with disabilities are suspicious when someone does give them a genuine compliment due to the frequency of receiving patronizing or inspiration-porn-inspired compliments.Around the idea of the help/personal care concern, Morrison-Gurza states that, “One of the most anxious moments of any date for a cripple is that moment wherein you realize that you actually need help with something.” He continues; “Imagine you have survived a night of awkwardly navigated crip-sex (and the guy actually stayed the night), only for you to wake up and need to pee.Under normal circumstances, you’d call your care-worker in to help, or pee in your leg bag (urine bag) and take care of this. This beautiful stranger who actually stuck around, can never actually know how much work is involved with you…you must pass as able at all costs.” Finally, the ‘boyfriend’ concern comes from the commonly-felt fear that a partner will gradually turn into an attendant, rather than a lover.